By Pettus Read
It never fails that when I find something that works the way I want it to, fits my body the way it should, tastes the way I like it, smells the way it should smell and costs the amount it should cost, somebody from out of nowhere will go and change it or completely do away with it. And these days, it doesn’t take long for the process to happen, either.
Just the other day I had a run-in with the “changers of what makes sense in life” when I went to buy a new gas can. All I wanted was a simple two-gallon gas can to fill up my lawnmower. You know, the kind with a cap and a spout made from plastic with a little vent in the back. But, thanks to the “changers,” our environment no longer can survive with those types of dangerous cans, and we now have the environmentally friendly cans that have no vent or caps you can screw off. Instead, to pour the contents from the cans you must push down on the back of the spout while also sliding the lever down and lifting the can. You must also lift one leg while placing your tongue to the left side of your cheek and holding your breath while pouring. These cans are supposed to prevent more fumes from escaping into the atmosphere than the older cans, but I wonder if anyone took into account the extra amount of gas that is poured all over the ground due to the inability of the pourer to handle these creations made for a contortionist. Plus, if you happen to be using these new caps on a five-gallon can, then forget lifting that sucker to pour fuel into a top-loading tractor unless you happen to be made like the Hulk. The environment may be safe, but your back is going to be a goner.
The same thing happens with medicines. They are all the time changing the size and shape of the pills I take. I have enough trouble keeping up with what pills I need to take at what time of the day without the pill companies changing the color or size on a regular basis. I even went to the extra effort of getting one of those boxes with the days of the week on them so I could remember to get the right pill at the right time. Now, I’m catching myself having to remind myself what day it is, so I’ve put a calendar up close to the pillbox. But when the pill companies change the color to look like another pill I’m already taking, then I’m completely confused. It makes me wonder if there is some person at the pill company who gets a kick out of making life difficult for those of us who have a few extra miles on us.
I had a door-to-door preacher stop by the house not long ago inviting me to come to his church. I appreciated his visit and told him I already attended church elsewhere and thanked him for coming by. He didn’t want to leave right away and asked me, “Have you ever thought about the hereafter?”
I told him I thought about that all the time, and he looked kind of surprised. “You really think about the hereafter all the time?” he asked.
“Yes I do,” I answered. “Just this morning I went into the back bedroom and asked myself, ‘Now what am I here after?’”
Change is something that is going to happen, and we all have to get used to it, but I wonder if it has to happen as often as it does. Maybe it is important to change the color of a pill or its size, the design of the label or even do away with my favorite item on your menu. Change does keep us on our toes, but these new gas caps are literally keeping us on our toes.